I needed to express myself with whichever means I'm comfortable, so I decided to metaphorically blog on stage (I use the term "on stage" loosely because it was actually at the bottom of a pool. We get creative around here). I shared the following:
I'm no stranger to change. It's all I really ever knew. Growth was a concept that took too long in thought. I was already grown up, I could just change myself to be more adult.
When I was 15 and looking for an identity, I happened to be at a video store where I found an Iron Maiden shirt. I liked the concept and became a metalhead. Kind of. I hated the music, but the look was cute.
I came to terms that I didn't really care about it and I couldn't keep up with the conversations since I didn't listen to the music, so I changed.
I was reading a review on Dream Theatre's then latest album Octavarium and knew that description was made to describe my tastes. The world of progressive metal in all it's surreal deep beauty opened itself up to me and I got stuck on Tool. I found myself to be kind of depressing and a headache to be around, so I changed.
For whatever reason, fondness for the notion of one love and surreal settings got me to Bob Marley and the Beatles. After many times stressing over nights out when I had nothing but t-shirts and flip-flops at my service, I realized I wasn't paying much attention to what I want to be in the future. So, in a way, I changed.
There was an initial change and then I realized that I was tired of change. All my time given to environmentalism in Jeddah and attempt at initiating the "right" lifestyle here, I grew exhausted.
I'm ready to close my eyes, feel for the sun, and reach in its direction indefinitely. To stop transforming into different objects and simply work hard to the goal, allowing myself to be shaped however fate sees fit.
My beautiful Jeddah doesn't seem to be on the same boat, so I'm making the decision for her. Her inhabitants are insisting on change, be it as a vision of a new Saudi Arabia or simply Dubai on steroids.
What I keep meaning by Jeddah's change starting with the Kingdom Tower
This is a declartion of my commitment to back up this new look and follow through with its maintenance.